We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of a conversation at work, and you can *feel* the person across from you isn’t truly present. Maybe they’re nodding absentmindedly, glancing at their phone, or jumping in with their point before you’ve even finished speaking. The truth is, most of us, at some point, are guilty of bad listening.
HappyHQ invited Fran O’Connor – team performance trainer, and founder of Litmus to provide tips on making listening your workplace superpower. She tells us all about The Tokenists,, The Plate Spinners, The Champions, and The “And Me”s..
Whether you recognise yourself in these types or someone else, understanding these behaviours is the first step toward fixing them.
The Tokenists
How to recognise one
- Nods along but isn’t actually listening
- Waiting for you to finish so they can speak
- Thinks the conversation is just a prelude to their own “amazing” point
If you are a Tokenist:
Great conversations come from collaboration. If you’re constantly focused on what you’ll say next, you’re missing out on valuable input. Try jotting down your point so you don’t forget it, then shift your attention back to the conversation. Ask open-ended questions to stay engaged and let the discussion evolve naturally.
If you’re talking to a Tokenist
Surprise them by drawing them back into the conversation. Ask them direct questions like, “Do you agree?” or “Which part of that resonates with you?” This helps refocus their attention on the current conversation rather than the one they’re rehearsing in their head.
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- The Plate Spinners
How to recognise one:
- Always multitasking
- In a constant rush
- Seem distracted during conversations
If you are a Plate Spinner:
It’s time to put the plates down—at least for the duration of the conversation. Multitasking might feel productive, but it dilutes your focus. If you truly don’t have time to listen, be upfront and schedule a better time when you can give your undivided attention. Listening well requires being fully present, even if just for five minutes.
If you’re talking to a Plate Spinner:
Respect their time and start by clarifying how much time you need. If they’re swamped, ask to schedule something when they can focus. And when you do have their attention, be concise and to the point.
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- The Champions
How to recognise one:
- Treats every conversation like a battle to be won
- Must come out on top, no matter what
- Frequently says, “I’m just playing devil’s advocate”
If you are a Champion:
Newsflash: conversations aren’t competitions. Instead of trying to win every point, practice empathy by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. The goal isn’t to prove you’re right; it’s to communicate and understand. If you’re constantly “winning” but alienating others, you’re missing the mark. Take a step back and allow room for other perspectives.
If you’re talking to a Champion:
These conversations can be exhausting, so pick a time when you have the energy to engage. Don’t escalate their competitive tone; instead, redirect the conversation toward future possibilities or mutual solutions. If you hit a wall, it’s okay to agree to disagree and revisit the conversation later.
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- The “And Me”s
How to recognise one
- Always interrupting
- Tends to dismiss what others say
- Dominates conversations
If you are an “And Me”:
Patience is key. You don’t always need to jump in immediately with your thoughts. If you’re afraid you’ll forget your point, write it down. Practice self-awareness by recognising when you’ve interrupted, and apologise. Conversations are about give-and-take, not just take.
If you’re talking to an “And Me”:
Sometimes it’s easier to let them finish their point, especially if they’re clearly bursting to share. Once they’ve had their say, gently steer the conversation back. Try phrases like, “I hadn’t finished my point,” to politely bring attention to their habit of interrupting.
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Listening: The Workplace Superpower
We’ve looked at four types of bad listeners, from the Tokenists who are waiting for their turn to speak to the Plate Spinners who haven’t mentally left their to-do list. Bad listening is one of the most common—and most overlooked—issues in the workplace.
But here’s the good news: it’s fixable. With the right information, a bit of self-awareness, and open communication within teams, we can all become better listeners. And nailing this is a key part of how we give better feedback.
Everyone *thinks* they’re a good listener but we all need to be more present, engaged, and intentional listeners in our conversations. Your next big idea—or solution—just might come from someone else’s perspective.
HappyHQ has partnered with Litmus to redefine how companies build a goal-focused feedback and listening culture. The framework moves companies away from outdated annual reviews to adopt a more dynamic and engaging approach to performance management.
Our collaboration offers comprehensive support, including goal-setting frameworks, leadership training, personalised one-to-one preparation, and internal communication assistance.
The outcome? Employees benefit from clear expectations, regular check-ins, and constructive feedback, leading to development and growth opportunities within a supportive environment
Case Study
HappyHQ recently assisted Ellis Wines in adopting new culture practices to enhance both business impact and team performance. From guiding the team in setting individual and company goals through OKRs, to leadership training, team communications, and monthly manager check-ins, and a new people-focused review system. These efforts ensured that Ellis Wines’ values are not only integrated into daily operations but also form a core part of its future vision.
If you’re seeking a partner in culture and people, let’s connect. We would love to learn more about your company and discuss how we can support you in achieving your goals.